Becoming the Ideal Version of Yourself

What would the ideal version of myself do?

I ask myself this question fairly often. See, I'm kinda screwed-up...
...Insecure.
...Depressed.
...Easily frustrated.
...Overly-emotional.
Stuff gets to me more than it should. Everyday stuff, from wondering if my massage client is enjoying his/her treatment, to over-analyzing a brief interaction I had with someone. I think too much sometimes instead of just being content with doing what I can, and living in the moment.

If you're anything like me -- and I know I am -- then you understand how stressful every experience can be. And are you happy with this state? I'm not.
I don't want to be upset over small details.
I don't want to judge myself so harshly.
I don't want to live in fear.
...you, too? Fab! Keep reading.

Ever since I was a little girl, I had fantasies about how I'd live my life when I grew up. I imagined myself to be confident and beautiful, and everyone would like me because I'd inspire them with my happy attitude and drive.

What is a fantasy? A dream one considers out-of-reach.

The bright side is that I don't think those dreams are far-fetched anymore. I've worked hard at fixing up my life, and I am a completely different person than I used to be. I'm not always confident, but I do, at times, feel beautiful. My attitude isn't always happy, but I would definitely consider myself well-liked by others. So far as I can tell, I am halfway to becoming the adult I always dreamed of being. Not too shabby, considering I'm only 25. And I got here by taking chances on school, jobs, myself, and others.

It was my life partner who made me think hard about how powerless I really was. "What would the ideal version of yourself do?" he'd ask me when I'd be struggling with a choice. My answers were always along the vein of 'I would take the risk and go for it.' He'd then smile at me and ask me what I was waiting for, what I had to lose.

I have a theory that, in most situations we encounter and struggle with, there is rarely anything substantial to be lost -- or at least, nothing that can't be regained.

> Hate your job but scared to quit it? Jonathan Coulton quit his day job to pursue a career as a musician, and he's become successful in less than 3 years. Had he failed, he could've just found another 9-5 gig.

> Want to have relationship-styles outside of the norm? I was monogamous for 3 years with Aaron before we decided to go polyamorous. I'd say that 90% of the people I talk to about it don't understand and think we're weird. But on the other hand, I've met amazing people since then and have had fantastic relationships. Had it failed, Aaron and I could have just gone back to being monogamous.

> Want to travel but don't have a ton of money? My brother flew to New Zealand with only a few hundred dollars left in his pocket and lived there for 8 months. He went from job to job, earning cash as he needed it and then pressing on. He absolutely loved it. Had he run out of money while there, he could have stayed at hostels or camped or found friends to live with for a while until he'd earned enough money to come back home again.

So let's think about this: what is the worst that could happen if you fail?

Let's say you decide you want to open you're own business. You borrow tons of money to make your business. And what happens? It flops. Yeah, that sucks and all, but what is the worst that will happen after that? You'll be in debt. You're not going to go to Hell, your family and friends won't suddenly hate you, and there won't be an apocalypse... You'll simply be in financial debt. Big whoop. Everybody's got debt. Besides, you'll have learned so much about what didn't work in your business that you might want to give it another go. The experience won't have been a waste at all. And if anybody tells you otherwise, don't believe them; they simply aren't brave enough to be the ideal versions of themselves, and you should pity their poor, poor souls.

Now, I'm not trying to say that everything is worth a risk. Some things should be respected enough to never be tried -- anything breaking the law, for example. Or haggis.

And, sometimes you'll lose the bet you made with yourself. I've come out on top with every chance I've taken so far, but that won't always be the case. I think one of the most important challenges for me will be when I take a leap and fall gracelessly onto my ass -- because my insecure, doubtful inner-voice will say, Told you you should've taken the safe road. It's better not to try. I want to be able to lose and still be happy that I took the chance, and took control of my life. In other words, the ideal version of myself will get back off the ground, learn from the experience and keep walking confidently.

You can do the same. Eventually you and I will realize once and for all that we always have a choice.

Choose to be the ideal version of yourself.