What's Wrong with Casual Sex?

I heard someone say recently that casual sex should not occur in a polyamorous relationship, but is allowed in an open relationship. Now, the person who made those statements seems to view casual sex as something lacking in feeling, and therefore thinks it unsuitable in a relationship style that is all about love -- polyamory. But is it?

What is sex, really? To me, it's one of the best stress-relievers I have ever known. Conservatives out there, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Sex is good for the human body, and can remind you how amazing it is to be alive.

Most of us share the same values: honesty, compassion, understanding, etc.. And let's face it -- a lot of us have had bad experiences with sex. I'm not talking about inadequate bedroom skills, but more the experience of having been manipulated and/or used. It's an awful, scarring experience, and once it's happened to us, we have a tendency to view sex through the lens of that pain. We're not as trusting, and why should we be? Something very special was taken without the proper respect and appreciation. I get it -- believe me.

But sex on its own is a beautiful thing. And it is possible for two people to come together, share the deed, and part ways with an understanding that they each had a physical need, and fulfilled it. No manipulation, no lies, and no ambiguity -- just a mutual understanding, and gratitude. I have several good friends who partake in casual sex. They are honest, confident, compassionate...and simply do not want a significant other. And, if I were to imagine a person who has a few serious or semi-serious relationships but also occasionally enjoys casual sex, would I still consider him/her to be polyamorous? You bet. Successful polyamory requires a person to be respectful toward others, and it is entirely possible for the act of sex to be treated with the same respect.

Please don't interpret this article as my telling you to go out and sleep with as many people as you can. I don't really care for casual sex myself, as I tend to get attached. My point is, it works just fine for some people -- remember that. Feel free to have your own opinions about casual sex, but don't expect everyone else to feel the same way.